dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
