i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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