everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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