from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
