My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
