As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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