I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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