We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
