normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
