Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
