The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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