You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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