The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
