watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
