whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I touched a dick in church today
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