i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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