oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Small penises have feelings too.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize