So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
