just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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