Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
