WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
