You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
