So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
