last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize