I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
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blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
so much tequila, so little girl.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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