An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize