I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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