Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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