remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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