I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
