The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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