Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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