Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
