i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
