i think my tv is drunk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize