dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize