mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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