she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
