So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
