Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
