): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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