ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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