All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
