So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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