My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
