I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
