I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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