my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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