she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She announced her abortion via fbk
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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