I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
