you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
