i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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