Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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