That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
