Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
