So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
