bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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