i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
