They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i think i just lost a toe
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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