She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
