I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
