Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How external is "for external use only"?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
