I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
