Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
