About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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