I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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