i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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