I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize