she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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